Alcohol free dating. No problem, a cool challenge or sheer torture? The Dutch weblog www.opfrisfabriek.com investigated the benefits and challenges of having a date without drinking alcohol. Conclusion? Yes, there are enough opportunities to have a great sober date and get closer to your potential new lover. It just depends on how you tackle it.

Breaking a tradition
Dating is often associated with drinking alcohol. Whether you’re recovering from an alcohol addiction or you’re just not familiar with a sober date and you want to try it sometime: It is by all means possible to break with the tradition of drinking alcohol during a date. Golden rule: always keep the benefits of alcohol free dating in mind.

Benefits
Alcohol free dating is cool because:

-The next morning you still remember what your date looks like
-No huge bar tab
-No embarrassing alcohol related situations or dark drunk secretes revealed
-You’re always able to jump in your car and get out in case your date is dreadful / boring / appalling.
-You could plan an alcohol free date during your working week: there’s no horrible hangover to fight (at least not an alcohol related hangover)

Challenges
Yes, it can be scary or even nerve-racking to date without a glass of alcohol in your hand. Especially if you’ve used alcohol in the past as a lubricating jelly in your social contacts, a sober date can be a real defiance.
Possible challenges are:

-You can’t drink away your nerves before or during the date
- Jokes, interesting conversation and the courage to kiss the boy /girl has to come out of you, not out of the bottle
-If your dates drinks (too much) alcohol, it can be hard to stay on the same frequency. Jokes or remarks made by your date could become silly or random stupid

5 recommendations for an alcohol free date
-Plan your first date during the day! We are not in France where people make a habit out of popping a bottle of wine during lunch. The temptation of drinking alcohol is smaller during daytime.
-Undertake a romantic activity with your date which is not related to alcohol. Go for a bicycle tour together and stop for a picnic in a beautiful forest. Or go horse riding on the beach. Or take a tango dance lesson together. If you use your imagination there’s a lot more fun stuff to do than to hang in a bar drinking pints.
- Are you more the intellectual type and not that interested in such an strenuous activity? An inspiring exposition, a nice movie or an interesting museum can be a great solution. You’ll have easy conversation about the eccentric artist, that brilliant scene or that mesmerizing sculpture. Additional benefit: you’ll discover immediately if you have the same interests.
-Sit down before your date starts and think about your reasons to abstain from alcohol. Make a list of the benefits of an alcohol free lifestyle. You’ll see that it reduces the temptation to drink.
-Very nervous or insecure before or during your date? Ask yourself: Who isn’t? It helps to remember everybody is nervous or (a little) insecure before or during a date. That’s part of the single’s world. You can ease the tension by making a little joke about.
-If your dates gets drunk while you stay sober: get the hell out of there! You don’t need a (potential) lover who drinks too much!

Recommended literature
- If the Buddha Dated by Charlotte Kasl
- The Flirt Coach by Peta Heskell
© 2011 Opfrisfabriek.com – www.opfrisfabriek.com is a Dutch weblog about alcohol free lifestyle.

Picture credit: emrank

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